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Are You Struggling To Undo The “i Do”?

The struggle is always the same for people going through a divorce. Regardless of who initiates the divorce, emotions rule the day and derail even the simplest of cases. Tempers flare, one or both parties may act unreasonably, and ultimately good people find themselves at their absolute worst. Fortunately, this cycle runs its course and most cases globally resolve. You as a litigant, can help streamline the divorce process by doing what you can to avoid conflict and protracted litigation. Here are some tips.

Choose Your Battles

You do not need to engage in war over every single issue that comes up in your divorce. Stay focused and let your attorney guide you as to when action is necessary. If your spouse constantly engages, do not give into it. Do not allow someone who is angry, vindictive or controlling to deter you from the end goal. Some divorcing spouses relish in the fight and it is better to steer clear.

I Need; I Want

As children, we operate instinctively in terms of “I Need” and “I Want.” People get married and the “I” becomes a “We.” But as soon as the divorce complaint is filed, people revert back to thinking that they are the only one in the divorce with desires and goals. Therefore, what you think is a reasonable demand, may not be so reasonable to the other side. Try to keep the “I Need; I Want” to a minimum and consider what a global settlement is really supposed to be about.

Stay True to Yourself

If your broken marriage has caused you to forget who you are, take time out of your busy day to reconnect. Make a list of your positive traits and ook it over. I bet you have alot more going for you than you believe. Quiet that negative voice inside your head and remember that happiness will come again. We can only give someone power over us; they cannot command it. Know what your end game is, stay strong, and commit to getting through the process intact.

Schedule Face Time

Everyone, including your divorce attorney is busy. As a society, we have come ta rely so much on technology that it has taken the place of in-person meetings. This is a huge mistake. Even 30 minutes spent periodically meeting with your attorney keeps you connected on a much different level than an email or phone call.

Help Your Children be Children

It amazes me when litigants claim that their children don’t know what is going on between them and their spouse. It simply is not the case. I have listened to recordings of children of divorce interviewed by Judges and what these innocent little bystanders have to say will rock you to the core. Never involve your children in the divorce. Let the simple things like a bike ride, reading a book, or taking a walk with your children define your day and theirs --- not your divorce.

We can tackle the divorce process together. I aim to know my clients, their stories and goals. I inject a level of humanity and integrity in this process that sets me apart from other family law attorneys. Call me today to schedule your free 30-minute consultation and visit us on Facebook for the Tip of the Day. My team and I hope you find inspiration and courage during this difficult time.

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